Nothing happens very quickly in my studio, I am slow and considered in the way I work and much of the time I am busy with commissions.
But I am always, little by little, developing my own practice and gradually discovering the meanings behind what I make.
I have realised this is the way I work: I start with a feeling, a direction, something I want to explore. I intuitively select images and intuitively create. Then, over time, I reflect and unveil the meaning.
My children have been my favourite muses, I felt compelled to capture them mid action, appearing animated or lost in their own thoughts, to attempt make them come alive on the canvas, a joyful celebration of life. Yet as time passed I realised that paradoxically the more animated and alive I made them and the more fleeting the moment I captured, the more poignantly their portraits conveyed the inevitability of the passage of time. My understanding of the meaning shifted slightly so that as well as being joyful celebrations they also reference the transient nature of childhood and the portraits have become bittersweet, carrying elements of sadness and nostalgia.
My understanding of my selection of reference images deepened too. At the time I couldn't have told you why I chose the particular ones I did from the thousands of photos on my camera. Certain images just resonated, I picked them out because it felt like they had caught a glimpse of their soul. Now I see in the portraits aspects of their personalities, vulnerabilities and struggles that I wasn't consciously aware of at the time but with hindsight I suspect were subconsciously influencing my choices.
Unveiling these meanings feels like the rewards of the intuitive approach. They are not meanings I have put in the work, they are within it or perhaps they even are the work?
This bring me to the "poetry of textiles", which I explain in my previous post. I have known forever that I want to involve my love of textiles in my practice but it took time to figure out how or more importantly why. The realisation that the drive comes from the strong emotional connections I feel to the material world, particularly to items from my past, eventually led to the conclusion that I should allow myself to intuitively explore these connections in my art making.
So that is what I have been doing, albeit slowly, because the things I make take time and there is never enough time.
And as time has passed I have been able to reflect on what I have made and unveil the personal meanings.
The portrait below was the first completed outcome from this exploration. You may have already seen it, I have shared and exhibited it but hadn't yet tried to explain it.
I painted my daughter moving through a pattern taken from the fabric of a quilt which was made for me before I was born, a textile piece which I love in every possible way because it is beautiful and was exquisitely made by a dear family friend in colours I adore.
From my large collection of "emotional textiles" it felt like obvious choice to include in this portrait, probably because upon reflection it has only happy, positive connotations and evokes feelings of comfort, security and warmth. Perhaps I was subconsciously wrapping my daughter in that warmth and safety? It certainly felt like she needed it at that stage in growing up.
If you are interested in the practical process of making the painting check out my instagram. Or check out my previous blog post to read more about the poetry of textiles.
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